Thursday, September 23, 2010
Writing Tip: Put Art First
This above all—ask yourself in the stillest hour of the night: must I write? Delve into yourself for a deep answer. And if this should be affirmative, if you may meet this earnest question with a strong and simple “I must,” then build your life according to this necessity.
~ Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet,
And this comes from a man, who I deeply admire, but who is-at the end of the day-a man. Rilke had the luxury of building his life around his writing, without apology, as did many men.
Still, I believe his advice is important, in fact it is essential. And it is also important to consider art from the perspective of being a woman.
For me, it often feels like I put my pre-conditioned and societally supported service aspects of womanhood before my art. I mother, organize, cook, attend to the needs of others, pay the bills, check email, answer all inquiries, write this blog post and so on, before I write.
This is not the way to get the job done. When it has come time to create one of my books, I have worked very hard to get the writing in first, when I am fresh and open and rested.
If a deadline is not looming though, I definitely struggle with the rotation of the equation because to put art first means a deluge of judgments which bypass my conscious mind, lodge into my subconscious and then impact my feelings and even my actions in the world, which is that I feel stressed and irritable. Those judgments go like this: You are selfish, you are not a good mother, good wife, prompt responder. Sound familiar?
I must remind myself that the inner critic is no friend. I must also remind myself conditioning is just conditioning. Habits can change. No matter how deeply rooted in my DNA over the generations, I can study my thoughts and then decide which ones I accept as helpful or reject as unhelpful.
It is hard to stop smoking. It's an addiction. It is hard to stop overeating, that is an addiction or habit too. It is hard to put art first when service to others has been your habit as well. Service can be an addiction. I must ask myself if my service to others is helpful when it is done out of obligation verses a true love calling? I must push myself to think more deeply about my addictions, habits and conditioning.
My writing, the creative wild process of words flowing to the page, is best when it comes first. Sometimes this means getting up at five and writing until the children need to rise. Or allowing my husband to get the kids awake and fed. Or coming to my office and writing FIRST, not last.
So, what is the tip?
Put your writing first.
Or intend to make your art your primary priority.
Or watch your own thinking about being first verses being last.
All we can do is try our best, forgive ourselves each day it doesn't work out and then--try again. 
This passage offers some comfort:
"I told you … Shakespeare had a sister; but do not look for her in Sir Sidney Lee's life of the poet. She died young--alas, she never wrote a word. She lies buried where the omnibuses now stop, opposite the Elephant and Castle. Now my belief is that this poet who never wrote a word and was buried at the crossroads still lives. She lives in you and in me, and in many other women who are not here tonight, for they are washing up the dishes and putting the children to bed. But she lives; for great poets do not die; they are continuing presences; they need only the opportunity to walk among us in the flesh."
~ A Room of One's Own ~ Virginia Woolf
I love this line: ...great poets do not die; they are continuing presences; they need only the opportunity to walk among us in the flesh.
Be the one who gives opportunity to the artist within. Walk in your flesh, sit down and write first!
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